"Grace was given to each of us according to the measure of Christ's gift." And why the grace? So we may come to know, love and serve God. Can't help it, keep coming back to the Baltimore Catechism definition of our role in life, a definition I've carried around and leaned on heavily for years. The grace we get from God is the grace we need to live that life. What is that life? Beats me. That's the one for you to figure out.
I know what mine is (finally) or at least I know what it is meant to be now. This can only come from discenrnment. Prayer, thought, study, more prayer, and the peace of stillness that comes through silence. In my experience discernment has nothing or little to do with emotional surges. It has everything to do with a steady, persistent prayerful life, as much as one can do. It comes to you in pieces and whispers. This, by the way, is one reason scripture reading helps. It shows you that you are not alone when it comes to pieces and whispers. And it can trigger some of the whispers as well. The call to the diaconate for me was not filled with emotional excitement, but with a lot of steps taken with the attitude of prayerful openness, allowing the Spirit to direct the way, As a result, it is not what I expected (my emotional reaction to it) and it's everything I wanted. Better, everything the Lord has wanted for me as of this day.
Paul urges us all to be open to God's grace so that we may know who he is and then live in the way he calls us to live. It takes some work on our parts to come to know what that call is.